Tomorrow

Tonight I'm going to bed as a mother of two. My sweet darling Michael and his brother or sister who is currently snug and growing in ny womb. Tomorrow I have an ultrasound. Normally for most women this is an exciting, joyous moment in a pregnancy. A chance to see their little one and see how much they've grown. For me it seems more like an agonizing wait in which I always fear the worst. It was at a normal drs visit almost 2 years ago when I was also one of those eager women waiting to see how much my baby had grown only to find out my baby no longer had a beating heart and I would never be able to hold her or raise her as my husband and I had dreamed. I had no signs of trouble or anything to make me thinm things would turn out so awful that day. Now as I'm just a few days past 10 weeks the fear and worry is mounting all over again. As my belly has swollen so much that normal pants don't fit already I am more than attached and in love with this little life inside me. Tomorrow hopefully goes smooth and is a normal visit but I still hold the fear in my heart that the worst will come. But for tonight, I look at the sweet son I am able to hold in my arms and dream of the day I will also hold the baby who's quickly growing in my womb. Tonight I go to bed as a mother with two dear blessings in my life and I hope that tomorrow nothing will change that.